A while ago I saw this image that made me feel alive.
Today when I saw it, it was black and white.
I’m not sure if there is some symbolism in that that I’m missing.
But what I do know is, bass is so last year.
I like this band because they remind me of nothing.
Spinning Beach House
Today I am waking up new.
Learning to love what I hated.
Miss who I wanted.
And all those other, small, insignificants.
My house on the hill reminds me of a few seasons ago when you drove hours to sit here on my porch.
To watch the sun rise over the city.
To have coffee with a best friend you hardly knew.
Watching the pollen fall like snow.
Green dust covering everything like the ashes of the end of the world.
And here we are.
Windows down.
Today is the first day of Spring.
Today is the first day of a new life.
Today I can breathe again.
This morning I woke up and smelled the flowers.
Although dead, they smelled alive.
Seeing as how I have the ability to take anyone far from their comfort zone, just to put them back into one that makes them feel right at home, it’s hard to tell if this is real.
We’re all just too comfortable.
I’m finding myself on the sunny coast this morning.
It feels good to be home.
Especially when home is where you make it.
(Source: zombiefromhell, via peytonvines)
I mean, they say you die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time.
—Banksy
In the midst of all of this, I am finding myself happier than I have been in what seems like a lifetime.
(Source: -theperfectmistake, via cosmic-hobbstweedle)
“woke up new”
By The Mountain Goats
On the morning when I woke up without you for the first time
I felt free and I felt lonely and I felt scared
And I began to talk to myself almost immediately
Not being used to being the only person there
The first time I made coffee for just myself, I made too much of it
But I drank it all just cause you hate it when I let things go to waste
And I wandered through the house like a little boy lost in the mall
And an astronaut could’ve seen the hunger in my eyes from space
And I sang
Oh, What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?
What do I do without you?
On the morning when I woke up without you for the first time
I was cold so I put on a sweater and I turned up the heat
And the walls began to close in and I felt so sad and frightened
I practically ran from the living room out into the street
And the wind began to blow and the trees began to pant
And the world in its cold way started coming alive
And I stood there like a buisness man waiting for the train
And I got ready for the future to arrive
And I sang
Oh, What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?
What do I do without you?
Moldy fruit and the morning after.
If you feel like its been a while.
It has.
When asked your favorite record, don’t respond with the obvious.
I’ve missed you for years and now here we are.
Its almost like there was never a “you” to begin with.
I’ve got this friend.
He’s from middle America.
He’s likely moved 10 times across the country and back for love.
Love he says.
Love will find you.
Looks like love has lost and found him a few too many times.
He’s finding himself awake in Arizona now.
With a new girl.
This morning I learned to burn my coffee.
I woke up wrapped in t-shirts.
I put an album on and it reminded me of all the things I’m not but could be.
I walked into my bathroom, looked in the mirror and recognized nothing.
I thought of you.
I thought of you.
Wesley, sorry I’m a shitty friend.
The simplicity of what this is puts my nerves on edge.
My over analytical mind doesn’t understand what’s not there to understand.
Less than 24 hours.
I’m moving to Washington.
There is a man holding a megaphone, so he must have been the voice of God.
The bystanders claimed they saw angels flying up and down the block.
Well, they must have been attached to wires. I saw one laying in the lawn with a broken arm,
so I called 911. So that is one less founded opinion. One more cause for a dispute.
So the street filled, like a basin, up with cameras and their crews
and they washed away the rumors leaving just the concrete truth. It was a spectacle.
No, I mean a miracle. So then I fell like that girl from a balance beam.
A gymnasium of eyes were all holding on to me. I lifted one foot to cross the other
and I felt myself slipping. It was a small mistake. Sometimes that is all it takes.
Now I’m staring at my wrist, hoping that the timing is right. When the planets will align.
There will be no planets to align. Just the carcass of the sun
and those little painted marbles spinning senseless through an endless black sky.
(and so it never started and it will never stop just like I am and you are)
It was in a foreign hotel’s bathtub I baptized myself in change.
And one by one I drowned all of the people I had been.
I emerged to find the parallels were fewer. I was cleansed. I looked in the mirror
and someone new was there. Still, I was as helpless as a chess piece
when I was lifted up by someone’s hand and delivered from the corner my enemies had got me in.
But in all of my salvation I still felt imprisoned inside that holding cell that is myself.
So I wait for the day when I’ll hear the key as it turns in the lock
and the guard will say to me, “Oh my patient prisoner you have waited for this day
and finally you are free! You are free! You are freezing.”
Now I’m staring at the sun, waiting for it to explode. Because a day is gonna come,
don’t know when but it will come and then we will finally know the way out of here.
And I will throw away this wrinkled map and my chart of stars and compass, cracked.
And I’ll climb out that tree all wet with sap to avoid the hungry beasts below.
I’ll cut out my lover’s tongue and sing of a graveyard gray and a garden green
and we won’t have to worry no more. No we won’t have to wonder again about
how this song or story ends about how this song and story will end.
